How to Write a Birth Plan That Works in the NHS System
Whether you’re planning a hospital birth or home birth in the UK, you’ve probably been encouraged to write a birth plan — a way to share your preferences for labour and birth. It’s meant to be your voice on the day when everything is moving fast and you want your wishes to be clear.
But here’s what I’ve learned as a doula and a mother: a birth plan isn’t a guarantee. It’s a beautiful tool — but it works best when it’s supported by knowledge, connection, and trust; in your care team, in your body, and most importantly, in yourself.
Why Birth Plans Sometimes Don’t Go as Hoped
It’s not because you “did it wrong” or “didn’t try hard enough.”
Often, it’s because:
You didn’t fully understand your rights within the NHS system, so you didn’t realise how much choice you really have.
Your birth preferences weren’t clearly shared with your partner or midwife ahead of time. ( Or were not fully aligned )
You felt unsure about speaking up when the moment came — especially if you naturally avoid conflict or tend to put others’ needs before your own.
That last part is so important. The patterns we carry — like people-pleasing, self-doubt, or conflict avoidance — don’t just disappear when we walk into the birth room. These are nervous system responses and inner-child beliefs we’ve held for years, and they shape how we respond in those vulnerable, intense moments.
How to Make Your Birth Plan Work for You
If you want your NHS birth plan to be more than just a piece of paper, it starts with a gentle but honest exploration:
Get clear on your ‘why’. Understanding the meaning behind each choice makes it easier to stand by it when the pressure is on.
Share it early and often. Talk your plan through with your birth partner, midwife, and doula — so everyone is aligned and ready to support you.
Do the inner work. Notice if you feel uneasy asking for what you need. This often comes from deep-rooted survival patterns that your nervous system developed to protect you. These can be softened with awareness, self-compassion, and practice.
My Holistic Approach to Birth Planning
In my doula work, birth planning isn’t just about ticking boxes or making a wish list. It’s about preparing your mind, body, and heart — so you can face birth feeling calm, grounded, and confident.
Together, we:
Explore your beliefs and feelings about birth — uncovering where your fears and hopes come from.
Build simple tools to help you stay steady and present — even if things don’t go exactly as planned.
Support clear, respectful communication with your birth team — so your wishes are heard and honoured.
A birth plan isn’t about controlling every detail — it’s about creating a safe and loving environment where you can trust yourself and your body, no matter how your baby arrives.
How I Can Support You
If you want to prepare your mind and body for birth with kindness and clarity, I offer:
1:1 online birth preparation sessions — a gentle space to explore your needs, values, and questions.
Prenatal visits included in my doula packages — where we meet (in person or online) to co-create your birth plan and do the deeper inner work together.
If you’re ready to feel supported and empowered in your birth journey, I’d love to walk beside you.
Sign up for my newsletter to receive ongoing support, gentle guidance, and free birth planning tools designed with your whole self in mind.
And when you’re ready, explore my doula packages and online birth prep sessions to see how we can work together to make your birth experience as peaceful and powerful as possible.
Elif xx
Holistic Doula | Motherhood Coach | Mind-Body Practitioner
In Person Birth and Postnatal Doula Support in SouthWest London and Beyond
